The Anxiety Toilet

Sometimes, we chase our tails trying to avoid uncomfortable thoughts. Trying to convince ourselves to ignore what we consider irrational, or bad. We find ourselves going around and around. Circling the drain of what I call The Anxiety Toilet.

This is often called the Avoidance Cycle, a hallmark of anxiety. The Anxiety Toilet is an internal avoidance cycle. It goes kind of like this.

I have an anxious thought. Let's say "What if it storms tonight?" And then I tell myself "There's nothing I can do about that, so let's distract." And I try really hard to ignore my fear. But then, the fear comes back. Bigger. "What if a tornado comes?" So I fight back. Harder. I dive into that new novel I've been wanting to read. I scroll Tik Tok with a vengeance. I bust open a big bag of greasy potato chips and a King-Sized Reese Cup. But the fear comes back. And round and round I go. Circling the drain.

When this happens, we need a plunger.

We need to stop this cycle at the core. Go back to that first anxious thought. Face the problem.

Instead of ignoring the fear, we ask "What am I really worried about?"

That means digging in and going deeper until we can see what we are predicting will go wrong. For example, "I'm afraid a storm will keep me awake and I won't do well on tomorrow's exam." And there we have it. The core fear. Tomorrow's test.

Once we've found the clog (the impending exam) we use our plunger. We ask "How can I make it better?"

This doesn't eradicate the fear, but it stops the avoidance cycle. It decreases the intensity of our anxiety. For example, I can go to bed early after studying and use ear plugs in case of a storm. Now, instead of staying up late beinge eating and reading a novel, I've unclogged the Anxiety Toilet and set myself up to do my best on the exam.

This was just one of a million possible examples of a clogged Anxiety Toilet. Here are some others.

I have a presentation next week.

I said something stupid yesterday.

My car is making a rattly noise.

The neighbor's dog is too loud.

My room needs cleaned.

It will be cold tomorrow.

My friend is mad at me.

I'm out of milk.

Our brains are capable of an endless supply of spiraling thoughts. It's our job to stop circling the drain and face our fear by asking questions like these.

What am I afraid of?

What might go wrong?

How likely is that?

What does that mean about me?

And then we get plunging. "How can I make it better?"

That's the key. Identify the "stuck" worry and problem solve. You wouldn't leave your toilet clogged. Don't leave your brain clogged. Plunge your Anxiety Toilet and stop circling the drain.

Now for my Christian readers.

Remember when I shared Phil 4:8 (Steal Back Your Joy)? Today I'm moving back in the passage to verses 6 and 7. We often misintrepet verse 6 (Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.) to mean anxiety is wrong, or even a sin.

But anxious thoughts are normal.

Even Jesus exhibited them in the garden before his crucifixion. What we are being told in Philippians is to FACE the anxious thoughts (AKA Use your plunger!) and pray about them. 

We are to do this plunging with gratitude.

I don't know about you, but I don't usually give thanks while unclogging my toilet. Nor is it natural to do so while unclogging our brains. But, when we do, verse 7 (And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.) tells us the result.

Peace.

And not just any peace. The peace that comes from trusting God. A peace so powerful we can't understand it, no matter how hard we try. A peace so strong it guards our hearts. And it guards our minds. It's a perpetual toilet cleaner. A clog preventer.

Like fiber for our thoughts.

So when we're circling the drain, there is a solution.

Face your fears with gratitude.

Does this mean being happy about bad things? No. This means changing trains of thought (Steal Back Your Joy) and choosing to focus on what God has done.

Verse 8. (Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.) Our prescribed thoughts- whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy.

So get to plunging. And find peace.