When I Just Can't... Love, Joy, Peace

Ever had one of those days? Weeks? Months? When nothing is going right and everything is just a monumental effort? When no matter what you try, you just aren't good enough?

This post is for my Christian brothers and sisters. This post is about drawing near to God instead of trying to earn God's favor. It is inspired by a conversation I had with my kids this morning about what it means to be separated from the world to God.

It's easy for us to say "I don't smoke. I don't drink. I don't gamble. I'm a good person." But plenty of good people aren't facing toward God.

One of the key red flags to look for, when asking ourselves if we are moving toward God, is in our reaction to our own sin. Do we make excuses, blame others, and justify what we have done? If so, we are not separated to God.

The key "green" flag is to look for are the fruits of the Spirit in our lives. Unfortunately, I didn't do a great job teaching these to my children. My oldest can list them all. My middle can remember most of them. And my youngest can only say "not a coconut."

This is a mistake I intend to remedy this summer. If we don't know what it looks like to be a Christ-follower, how can we claim to be so?

This week, we're focusing on Love, Joy, and Peace- the first three fruits of the Spirit. (For those who don't remember, the others are Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, and Self-control.)

Love means unconditional positive regard. These are the ideas my family came up with for exhibiting love. We can show this by hugs and snuggles, spending time together like playing games and getting ice cream, doing favors for each other, making yummy food and giving gifts, and saying kind things. Not coincidentally, they line up with the Five Love Languages proposed by Gary Chapman.

When my kids were in preschool, years apart, they each created a special mother's day card with a handprint and a quote saying "I love my mom because..." These gifts clearly defined their love languages. My oldest said "because she takes me out for ice cream." The next said "because she lets me play Starfall." And the third said "because she plays games with me." We are all "quality time" people.

My family noted that joy often comes from love. Perhaps it is not a coincidence that the fruit of the spirit are listed in the order that they are. Joy comes from being surrounded by love and shifting our thinking to focus on the positive things. See last week's blog post called Stealing Back Your Joy.

Next, these are the ideas my family came up with for fostering an atmosphere of peace in our house. Peace means decreasing conflict. Not by "making sure the other person shares your opinion," as my son jokingly responded. Not by avoiding interactions, as they also tried. But by listening instead of arguing. By focusing on improving ourselves instead of trying to fix others. By taking a step back before reacting. By not singing songs about their sister being afraid of buckets. Okay, weirdly specific, but you get the idea.

Back to my original question.

What do we do when we just can't? We stop trying.

We turn to God and focus on the good things. We find the people we love. We do the things that bring joy. We stop looking at the things that are wrong and the sins of others and draw closer to God. When we are operating from a heart of love, joy, and peace, we find that we can, because of Christ in us.

See Pastor Anthony Fusco's sermon from 6/2/24 at Northwest Bible Church in Hilliard for the inspiration for this post.